What’s Next…

When I tell people I am going to Australia for a year of service I generally get one of two responses:

“I’ve always wanted to go to Australia! Do you think I could fit in your suitcase?”

“A whole year? I could never do that.”

In regards to the first comment, RIGHT?? It’s Australia!! And no, you can’t fit in my suitcase because if that was possible the spot would be reserved for my mom, duh.

Now for the second comment. I didn’t think I could either. But honestly, I didn’t think I could do a lot of stuff until I did. Making really “life altering” decisions has always been pretty difficult for me. When I started college I had no idea what I wanted to major in and it caused me some extreme anxiety. I felt like a failure because I have never had any idea of what I wanted to do with my life or what career I wanted to have. My parents said when I was a little kid I wanted to be a “purple doctor” (I have no explanation, maybe I watched too much Barney?). In middle school I wanted to be a baker and after working at Panera Bread and the Bakery at Wartburg I can tell you that is definitely not my calling. Too many early mornings and mismeasured ingredients.

My first year of college pretty much all of my energy was spent on trying to decide on a career. I talked with so many people about what I should pursue and received many different answers. Somewhere along the way, someone told me to stop focusing on what job I would have after I graduated and to just study what I enjoyed because at that point I wasn’t choosing a job, I was choosing what to learn about for the next few years. I wish I remembered who said that to me because it totally shifted how I viewed decision making. It took the pressure off and made the decision manageable. From that moment on, whenever I had to make a decision about what I was going to pursue I reminded myself, “You aren’t deciding what you are doing for the rest of your life, you are deciding what you are doing next.” (If you have ever come to me seeking advice about any decision, you have probably heard me say this.)

This seemingly simple statement/mindset not only helped me when picking majors, but has also helped me decide what to do after college and ultimately led me to YAGM. Although the decision to do YAGM will impact me –hopefully in a positive way- for the rest of my life, it is just what I am doing next. No decision I make can lock me into a set path for the rest of my life because I get to make the decision of what to do next. Of course there are external factors that may push me in certain directions, but I will always have options. This mindset does not take away the fears I have, but it gives me comfort knowing no situation I am in, good or bad, is going to last forever.

Although I have ideas and goals, I still don’t know what I am going to do with the rest of my life. But I am okay with that because life isn’t going to go according to some sort of plan I make up. All I can do is decide what I am going to do next and trust that that decision will help me grow until the next adventure comes along.

Peace,

Katie.